How many times do you catch yourself saying, “I don’t feel like it?” I know, certainly, I spend many times during my week battling with this very powerful yet silent phrase in my mind.

The thing is that some of the most consequential decisions occur disguised as ordinary feelings.

— I’m tired, so not today.

— I’m anxious, so I’ll do it tomorrow.

— I’m discouraged, so I’ll have to delay.

— I don’t feel as motivated as last week, so I’ll wait till it comes back.

And the rehearsal goes on and on and on until the day comes and then the guilt that we did not do the things we said we would do. The challenge of that guilt is that it unfolds within this same process of trying to get back up. Because now, not only do you feel guilty for letting the days and weeks and months slide, but you feel guilty about your silent guilt.

Some people get up from that guilt and others remain in endless rumination. And this is where the feeling, which was once very subtle became a decision.

Time keeps moving. Days keep happening. Months fly by and years rush through. And if we are not mindful, those small, delayed decisions become compounded moments of guilt, that overtime, for many, result in catastrophic self-deceit and regret.

The aim is never a huge overhaul that you barely recognize yourself. Neither is it to completely exhaust yourself that a break makes you feel guilty. It is okay to pause, reflect, take a moment, breathe, recalibrate, but track it — your best friend for evidence — your tracking system that tells you how much time has passed.

You see, if every temporary internal state is allowed to rewrite our intentions, our behavior becomes conditional — an uninhibited fluctuation that has no end.

Perhaps mental fitness is a learned skill and it is about learning:

“This is happening now, so what must I do about it?”

Can I still do it?

If yes, do it.

I don’t feel like taking a walk = do it.

I feel nervous about the new idea = do it.

I am not good enough = do it.

My mind is racing and I can’t sleep = breathe then sleep = do it

Sometimes the answer is no.

I am sick = pause long enough to build energy but remain active by your Clinician’s orders

I am injured = pause until you are healed

I am depleted = pause, recalibrate, rest and rejuvenate

I am burned out = pause and reevaluate your values

So what can I do instead?

Today’s workout = recovery

Overwhelmed = Ask for help

Cannot make it today = Reschedule. Don’t Disappear.

The objective is not to reject yourself, build negative relationships with the same things that build you.

We are building the tower against abandonment.

How does this come into play in Adherence?

As a patient, you may feel fear, overwhelm, regret, self-hatred, frustration, embarrassment, discouragement.

The easiest thing to do when life feels like it is hitting you from behind is quit, at least in the moment. You imagine the good feelings of what the immediate moment after would generate and you bank your dollar on that idea, which becomes the illusion — the lie we tell ourselves.

You are a human being living a life without any set blueprint, in a non-linear journey.

Feeling — emotions that led to the behavior (cause)

Effect — what happened next?

Evaluate — does the behavior need attention or not?

Link — what can lead to the intended behavior?

Now that we understand this, what are the steps we can take to move forward?

This is the point of it all — how do we move forward when the hiccup asks for reassessment.

Track it. Manage it. Sustain it.

I am finally launching The Clinical Adherence System.

This week’s phrase awareness.

“When I feel ___________ I tend to ________________.”

We are looking for the behavior which happens when we don’t “feel” like it.

Then,

“What does this feeling make me want to do?”

Lastly,

“What would it look like to respect this feeling without automatically letting it make the decision?”

Notice one moment this week, when a strong feeling occurs that makes you want to abandon ship.

Name it.

Pause.

Check on it.

Choose.

Some people say sleep on it. Give it some time. Except if a decision is life and death in which life should be chosen. And in the case where a quick decision is required, that your decision skills become its most premium that no delay hampers the process. Besides that moment. NPCC.

You are allowed to feel it and still choose.

You do not have to push through every single thing. Robots break down despite maintenance. Computers need maintenance. Human beings need maintenance. The old beliefs around resilience and its tight connection to burnout has forced us into believing that we have to bolster through EVERY Single Thing.

This is not the point here.

There are feelings you MUST listen to.

There are situations that require a pause and deeper thought, even a day or two.

There are burdens that weigh tons on your back that should be unbuckled from the strap.

However, in the ordinary moments of discomfort, where surrender seems more fulfilling than more effort, perhaps observation is required to make a better decision.

Feel discouraged yet continue.

Feel nervous yet work.

Feel that first yawn yet study.

Feel the frustration, pause and get back to it.